


Does he make you feel like I do?

by orphan_account



Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019), Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, theyre tragic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:15:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24342643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ivy refuses to let herself fall for her best friend.Harley doesn't know how to get her back.Set during 2x08 and after.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 5
Kudos: 101





	Does he make you feel like I do?

Poison Ivy was _not_ the emotional type. She would’ve defended this to anyone. She thought with her head, not her heart - or, at least, she had. Until she met Harley.

Harley, who sent her life spiralling into a manic, uncontrollable chaos, so unlike the carefully cultivated routine she had so painstakingly perfected. 

A feat Ivy had thought impossible until the truth had all but slapped her in the face. She was losing her iron grip, and she was almost allowing herself to enjoy the ride. 

Of course, she had her moments of doubt, as would anyone in her situation. But now she was starting to settle. She had her best friend, an almost - crew, and her fiancé. 

Her fiancé.

That still felt surreal. 

In truth, Ivy couldn’t say _why_ exactly she eventually agreed to Kite Man’s - Chuck’s - proposal. It was maybe as far from the fairytales of her childhood as possible. Chuck was no knight in shining armour, no handsome prince. There were no fireworks when they had first kissed, no butterflies on their first date. But being with him was a new routine. They were like clockwork. Chuck was sweet, safe.

Chuck was….nice. So why did Ivy find it so hard to feel much of anything when they were together? Why, when he said he loved her, did Ivy freeze up? The words were caught on the tip of her tongue, refusing to be spoken. 

Words that had come so easily when talking to Harley.

It had been easy for Ivy to dismiss it at first, ignoring the light blush on her cheeks when she had told Harley she loved her. Ignoring the way her heart pounded when she heard Harley say it back. Ignoring the way the following silence had felt like a confession. 

But ever since the pit….things had changed between them. 

Ivy could admit she was at fault. The more she resisted thoughts of Harley, the more force they came back with. Eventually, she had decided the best way to deal with this would be avoidance. When they decided to talk about the kiss, Ivy did what she did best. Separated herself from her feelings, wrote the kiss off as a thoughtless choice after a near death experience, and shut down any other suggestions before they could leave Harley’s mouth. And maybe she should have realised she couldn’t run from her emotions forever, but she couldn’t bear the thought of the repercussions of falling for her best friend. Least of all when she was engaged to someone else. 

So when Harley’s face somehow ended up an inch from hers, separated only by Ivy’s crushing reality, she had been quick to pull back. Resisting, once again.

She almost allowed herself to regret moving away.

Almost.

And then the moment was over, and she was trying to _not_ dread seeing her fiancé. 

\---

As Chuck stressed over the reservation Ivy had forgotten to make, she felt her mind begin to drift. When she was uncomfortable as a child, her mind had gone to her storybooks, to a fantasy world wherein she was untouchable. As a teen, her mind had gone to her work, predictable and calculated. More recently, she had found her safe place to be Harley. Never before had she considered the implications of this. But now, in her fiancé’s apartment, she was forced to confront reality - as stable as her relationship was, it would never provide the same sense of serenity that Harley’s presence did. 

The statement was surprising, and yet so undeniably true that Ivy was jolted back to her current predicament. Here she was discussing meeting her future husband’s parents whilst trying to pretend she wasn’t doing everything in her power to stop replaying the feeling of her best friend’s lips on her own. No matter how many times she redirected her thoughts to Chuck, they kept circling back.

The lingering guilt of not confessing to the kiss weighed Ivy down. It made no sense. She didn’t plan on ever, _ever_ doing something like that again, of course not, so really she didn’t need to say anything. Girls kissed all the time, right? Just as friends. Friends. 

Chuck didn’t need to know.

\---

The cold air sent a chill down Ivy’s spine. Distant sirens, a permanent feature of Gotham, pierced the night. She glanced at the sky, trying to find stars despite the pollution. 

Was disappointed when met with nothing but darkness. 

The city was never silent, and the noise that usually drowned out Ivy’s thoughts now seemed only to mimic them. Painfully inescapable. Would she ever find peace? Maybe not. At least not while she played this game, a game of make-believe. Deep down, she knew that she couldn’t run from this forever. She was growing exhausted, emotionally drained, and she needed relief. 

Ivy had not wanted to marry the boys who had chased her in the playground, who had left flowers in her locker at school, who had taken her to movies or dinner dates in college.

Ivy did not want to marry Chuck.

And finally, years of pain spilled from her as she slid to the floor and wept.

\---

Brunch had been a disaster.

Between the lack of reservation, Chuck’s parents constantly berating their son, and Ivy finally blowing up at the end, there was no way this day could get _any_ worse. 

_Fuck._

_Harley._

Ivy was aware her method of suppressing her emotions was unhealthy, sure, but summoning _an entire army from hell?_ That was... a few steps too far. 

But Ivy knew Harley, perhaps better than she knew herself. This wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want pain, or destruction, or death. So then...what did Harley want.

For the first time since her internal struggle began, she decided something brave.

Maybe, _maybe_ communication would work better.

Ivy offered Harley an opportunity.

_‘What do you really want’_

5 words that held more weight than Ivy ever could have imagined. So simple, and yet they carried something she had been running from for as long as she could remember.

Admittance. 

When Ivy met Harley’s eyes, she was sure she would pass out, or cry, or both. The war in the background faded to white noise as her mind finally became silent. She searched for an answer, and was surprised to see Harley’s eyes were misted. They were standing so close together, and she felt herself fall back to the night they escaped the pit, back to when those baby blue eyes had shone with the light of stars, not tears.

Harley was hurting. Just like she had.

And then a realisation hit Ivy. She didn’t care if this hurt, if it ended badly, if she would regret it in the future. Because right now, she wanted nothing more than to let go of her control. 

Harley was _Ivy’s,_ and the fear of consequences slipped from her mind as the next words left her mouth.

_‘If you really need to say it, just....’_


End file.
